Rosé – Wölffer Estate – $18.99
This is a review of the Long Island Rose from Wölffer Estate, for the Provence Rose from Wölffer Estate Click Here
Producer: Wölffer Estate Vineyard
Price: $14.99
Vintage: 2023
Date Purchased: April 8, 2025
Store: Astor Wines & Spirits
Location: 399 Lafayette St, New York, NY 10003
Phone: (212) 674-7500
Website: astorwines.com
Quick Description:
A dry rosé like this one deserves to be served with good food and even better emotional armor. I opened it on a weeknight while plating up brisket and sheet-tray carrots I frantically roasted for my boyfriend and his visiting mother. She doesn't drink much, which was a blessing — because frankly, I needed the full bottle to mentally escape the reality of another ill-informed American trade war flailing its way across the global stage.
This rosé isn’t soft or flirty. It’s composed, sharp, and exactly what you reach for when you need something elegant that doesn’t waste your time. A sweet or juicy rosé would’ve caved under the pressure of that dinner. But not this. This is rosé for the hardened. For the cougars who took everything in the divorce and kept the beach house. For their younger boyfriend who fled a civil war and now lives life as a pampered lap dog for a hot-but-messy Cryptkeeper. For Xanax-laced moms of four. And yes — for burly, masculine men who pour pink with zero shame and absolute purpose.
It’s dry, it’s balanced, and it’s quietly powerful. Like a person who doesn’t raise their voice because they know they’re right. Or like the one time Björk responded to my outstretched hand during an introduction with a soft sigh and a glance that floated just past my face — as if direct contact would’ve broken some invisible spell she didn’t ask to be part of. A little magical. A little bitchy. Just like this wine.
Ratings:
🌸 Taste: 4.5/5 – Crisp, dry, and refreshingly grown-up. No fruit punch vibes here.
💅 Vibe: 5/5 – Calm, commanding, and barely masking the generational trauma.
🎯 Label Coolness: 4/5 – Chic, Hamptons-adjacent minimalism with just enough edge.
💸 Value: 4/5 – A little splurgey for weeknight brisket, but worth every cent.
🍽️ Where You’d Drink It: Midway through an awkward dinner while holding your tongue with grace.
🌵 Dryness Scale: 5/5 – Desert-level dryness. Just how we like it.
🫧 Effervescence Scale: 1/5 – Still. Unbothered. Thriving.
Final Verdict:
✅ PASS THE GLASS — Strong, dry, elegant, and ready to carry your emotional baggage without flinching.
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